Upon Reflection
by GoldenGirlSherry
Summary: Tony ponders his relationship with Angela. Is he man enough to be with a woman like her?
1. Overcoming insecurities

He watched her ascend the stairs her shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. The fact that he was the cause of said weight didn't go unnoticed in his mind After a moment he followed her up the stairs and went into his bedroom closing the door behind him. He had a lot of thinking to do. Could he handle the fact that she would always make money than he did? Did he love her enough to overcome his insecurities? He told her that he didn't know if he could handle "this." Well wasn't she more important than *this?* Weren't they more important? They had gone through so much to get to where they were at. Was he really going to let money come between them?

But, he had to be honest. It did bother him that she made money than he did. He couldn't help it. It was the way he had been raised. The man provides the family. The man is the breadwinner. He hadn't liked the fact that her friends had seen him as a kept man. That was why he had bought her the painting and partly why he was going to college. Yes, he was going to college to better himself and because he didn't want to be a housekeeper for the rest of his life. But, he also wanted her to be proud of him. Proud to be with someone educated. Someone who made something of themselves. It wasn't that he was ashamed of being a housekeeper. He wasn't. He had taken the job to provide Sam with a better life. For that reason he would never be ashamed. She had come first. Her happiness and well being had been the most important thing. He would have taken almost any job to provide her with a good upbringing.

What he hadn't planned on of course was falling for his Boss. He had hoped that they at least would have liked one another. Things would have been very awkward if they hadn't. Yes, at first there was a little tension and awkwardness but eventually they had found a rhythm. A rhythm that was uniquely theirs. No one had been able to break it; especially not the people they had dated before they had gotten together themselves. So the question was did he love her enough to accept the fact that she made more money than he did? Could he be in a relationship with a woman like her and still feel good about himself? She had said that money isn't the measure of a man. She was right. He had friends, family, a beautiful daughter, a boy he loved and considered to be his son, and most importantly the woman he loved more than anything. The woman who was now in her bedroom probably pacing and worrying that he was going to end things between them. She had told him that if he couldn't handle it maybe it was better that they find out now. Did he want to take that chance? Did he want to take the chance of losing her forever over something like money? Hadn't he told her just a few nights ago that he had never been happier in his entire life? Wasn't that the most important thing?

Yes. Yes, he did love her enough. He hadn't loved a woman like this since Marie. Quite frankly he never expected to. He knew he would be dating; he wasn't a monk after all but giving his heart to another woman? Letting another woman into that sacred part of himself? That wasn't something he had planned on- at least not with his Boss. Gina. Frankie. Kathleen. Any one of these women would have made sense if he had fallen for one of them. Gina and Frankie were from his neighborhood- although Frankie was a lawyer so already she made more money than he did. But, as Angela said she was an Italian beauty so on paper they would have made a striking couple. Gina? Yeah, he could have seen himself with her at one point in his life but not anymore. Kathleen? While she was at the same status and point in life that he was he never saw anything long term even though for a while he tried to convince himself that there was. But, Angela had managed to get into his heart in a way no woman had ever been able to do.

*Come on Micelli!* he chided himself. *You are with a woman you love more than anything! Are you really going to let your insecurities destroy what is the best relationship you have had in years?!* He went over to his dresser and opened up one of the drawers. He took out the photo album he kept in there. Flipping through it he stopped when he came to the picture he was looking for. It had been taken at the family picnic they had gone on a month back. The picture was of the two of them looking into each other's eyes with a goofy grin on both their faces. Mona had taken it unbeknownst to the two of them. Of course she had teased the them for being sappy but he could tell deep down she loved seeing them like this. After all she had wanted them together way before they even thought of being together. He gazed fondly at her. He loved her. He loved her so much he couldn't breathe at times. He remembered the crestfallen look she had earlier and the way her shoulders had slumped as she climbed the stairs. He hated seeing her like that; he hated himself even more for being the one to make her feel so bad. He vowed then and there he would try as hard as he could to get over his insecurity about first way to prove it to himself and her was to allow her to loan him the money to help pay for the painting- whatever the hell it was. He knew he wasn't 100% okay about it but he also knew he loved her enough to give it a shot. He closed the album and put it back into his dresser drawer. He had to talk to her. He had to make her understand that even though he had issues with her making more money he did love her.

He left his room and went over to her room and knocked on the door. When she failed to answer he opened the door and peeked in. He didn't see her so he summarized she was downstairs. Jogging down the stairs he looked in the living room and her office. She wasn't in either place so he figured she must be in the kitchen. He stood in front of the swinging door, took a deep breath and pushed the door open…..


	2. You don't have to try

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Unable to keep a straight face Angela burst out laughing at Tony's comment.

"Well at least I can still make you laugh." Tony sighed as he moved to the table and sat down the jar still gripped in his hands.

Perplexed Angela sat down beside him and took the jar from him and placed it on the table. She intertwined their fingers together and asked what he meant.

"Well it's just that I want so much to give you everything you desire that..."

"That you spend $2,000 on a painting?"

"Yeah. I mean I keep thinking of the guys you used to date and I never feel like I measure up to them."

"You have that backwards honey."

"What do you mean?"

"They don't measure up to you."

He looked down at their hands still clasped together then up into her eyes. Those eyes that were always filled with warmth and love whenever he looked at her.

"Angela..."

"I'm serious Tony."

"How did you know what I was.." but he didn't finish his sentence. Of course she knew what he was thinking and what he was going to say. That was just the way they were.

"I mean Tony the years spent with you have meant more to me than anything else in my life, except for having Jonathon of course."

A smile came then to his face softly at first then lightning up his whole face like the sun coming out on a cloudy day.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean you make sure that I always have butter brickle ice cream, you buy me pink roses whenever I need cheering up, you console me when I lose an account, and you celebrate with me when I win one. There are so many things that you do for me that mean so much more than what Michael and Geoffrey and Andy ever did."

All that she has said causes a tear to run down his cheek. She gets off her chair and goes to sit on his lap. She kisses him softly on the lips and lies her head on his shoulder.

"So you see Tony you don't have to try so hard. You know I love you."

"I love you too"

They kissed once more and then Angela grinned at him and said "Now if you're really good I'll make you my special peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

"Um yeah okay. But just please don't make it like last time."


End file.
